Take a Break Books: Mean Soup

Find it on Amazon.

This book has been in our rotation for a few weeks now. Max loves it and I love incorporating my favorite social-emotional books into our reading time to add tools to his SE toolbox (while also building a love of reading, early literacy skills, and connecting with each other - read to your kids, it’s amazing!).

I’ve had several questions on Instagram about how to deal with your kids when they are getting great reports from school, but act terribly at home. This can be so hard for parents. Why is my kid so sweet and well-behaved at school and then comes home to treat me like dirt?? Does he hate me?? It’s unfair and confusing. But, it’s incredibly common and has a lot to do with the strength of your relationship.

Kids face a lot of frustrations, challenges, injustices, embarrassments, etc throughout the school day. They are self-aware and hyperaware of everything going on around them. This is incredibly exhausting and draining. They hold it together for 8 hours! Then, they get home and they just can’t take it anymore. So, one minor problem (the wrong snack, change of afternoon plans, whatever) or simply walking through the door, sets them off.

Home is their safe place. You are their safe place. They know they are loved and accepted no matter what they do (that’s a parenting win!), so they take off their armor and crumple or explode. They need you to tend to their wounds, provide some comfort, and let them rest or blow off steam. It’s not about you, it’s about the 1,000,000 small frustrations they faced that morning and the tiny reason they were set off is just the straw the broke the camels back. Try not to take it personally.

This is why I love Mean Soup. It shows a few moments that added to Horace’s bad day (they might seem like small problems, but kids are small and these are big issues to them!), then his unraveling at home. I love the way his mom handles it. She doesn’t take it personally. She doesn’t pelt him with questions about his day or ask him what’s wrong. She allows a space for the feelings and provides an appropriate activity to let it out. It’s so good.

Now, I don’t think it’s wise to put your upset child on a stool in front of a boiling pot of water, but the concept is good. Maybe you get out a pot, scream into it, and bang it with wooden spoons. Maybe your bigger kid takes some slips of paper and writes or draws the hard moments, throws them in the pot or rips them up and throws them away. Maybe you set up a Bop Bag or obstacle course for your kiddo to unload that pent up energy. Or, your introvert might like to Take a Break or read quietly for half an hour before starting homework. Every child is different and has a different way to relax or regroup. Find what works for your child and give them some time after school. Don’t take their explosions personally. Provide a space for those big feelings and direct them toward a healthy way to express them.

Let me know if you need help!

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