How I Help Max With Emotional Development at 15 Months
I am VERY lucky that Max inherited his dad’s easy-going spirit. Not much gets him down and we can figure out why he’s upset most of the time. His big triggers are sleepiness and hunger (big shock?). He also gets frustrated as he is trying to master a new skill and don’t get me started on teething… Here are the simple things we do to help his development:
Language - We read, we sing, and we talk. A lot. At this age, it’s all about building vocabulary and awareness. You can find a list of books I like on my Pinterest page. I label Max’s feelings and attribute them to the circumstance as often as possible. For example, “shucks, you are so frustrated right now. That block just won’t stay put.” This gives him the word for what he is feeling and also speaks to the temporariness of feelings. He won’t be frustrated forever, just right now. It’s good to follow through and acknowledge when the yucky feeling goes away. So, if he gets the block to stack, I speak to that as well, “wow! You worked so hard to make that block stack up. You look proud!”
I don’t solve every problem - This one is really hard. I HATE to see Max struggle and I have to fight the urge to rescue him. I stop myself (most of the time) because I want him to learn new skills and be confident that he can do it all by himself. More importantly, I want him to learn to be comfortable in frustration (or another yucky feeling) and learn to push through it. If he starts to get too overwhelmed or if he isn’t ready for the skill, I will give him a nudge or scaffold in some way, but I *try* not to do it for him.
Take a Break Together - I hold him and we look at a book, shake up a Moody Jar, or look out the window. He really just needs a little TLC and redirection at this point. I like to use the “take a break” tools to help him associate the tools with calming down.
Max recently started biting us. Oh man, does that ever hurt! I think human flesh must feel really good when you’re teething 😆. Here’s how I handle it: In a firm voice I say, “No bite Mommy” as I move him away from my body. Then, I’ll (quickly!) grab a teether or toy or graham cracker and in a sing-songy, happy Mommy voice I’ll say, “Yes bite toy.” I’ll model it for him and we take turns biting the toy or whatever I found (he gets a big kick out of it). The key here is the redirection. If Max wants to bite/hit/throw, I give him something that is safe to bite/hit/throw. He’s not old enough to express his big feelings with words so he needs the physical outlet. As I see him getting excited or worked up, I’ll start labeling his feeling and giving him appropriate behavior BEFORE he can get close enough to bite. For example, “You are mad! Bite the toy!” and I do it with him. You can insert any feeling and pair it with an appropriate behavior. I also use very animated expressions and tone to help him know what’s acceptable and what’s not.
It’s going to take time (and consistency) for him to understand and appropriately express his feelings. He will bite me again, he will have tantrums, and he will do many things we don’t like over the course of his childhood (life?). It’s our job as his parents to be patient, to help him find a better way and, to be sure he knows we love him and accept him no matter what.
I will continue to do updates and provide strategies as he gets older. I will keep yall posted!
One of my very favorite books - The Way I Feel . Follow the link to find it on Amazon.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.