Take a Break Books: I Love You, Stinky Face

I Love You, Stinky Face

I love this book. Do y’all have a copy? 

It’s a sweet bedtime story, but there’s more to it. I think what the child is really asking is:

Do you love me when I’m scary?

Do you love me when I’m out of control?

Do you love me when I’m hard to understand?

Do you love me if I’m weird?

Do you love me if I’m fierce?

Do you love me if I’m stinky?

Do you love me when I’m not so cute?

Do you love me when I’m mean?

These are the questions our kids want answers to. How far does your love go? I know most of us would say it’s endless! But, how do you feel in the face of a meltdown or a tantrum or back talk or all of those other not-so-beautiful moments with your kids? YOU know your love is always there, but your children don’t. They don’t yet understand that you can feel love and another feeling at the same time. Love doesn’t go away. We need to tell them. 

We also need to show them with our actions that their big feelings and their big behaviors are OKAY and don’t scare us. This is so important for our children to be able to get comfortable with and manage the big stuff on their own (self-regulation). If mommy or daddy or my teacher seem uncertain or afraid or don’t seem to know how to help me, then this feeling/this moment is not safe! It’s scary and overwhelming and will continue to be. 

Confident, calm, understanding adult responses (even if you have to fake it) to the big stuff show the children that you are in control so they are safe to be out of control. That’s so powerful. Then, on another day, when the big feelings start to bubble up again, they won’t be so intense because that safe feeling will start to creep in earlier. They start to get familiar with the big feelings and they don’t seem so scary and overwhelming. Be sure to label and talk about emotions often! Check out my blog post “4 Reasons to Talk About Feelings” for more.